Legal aliens

28 May

The sample WordPress post was titled “Hello, World” and it seems apropos. So hello, World! But let’s not beat around the bush, let’s just pretend we’ve always been friends. Your fly is down and you have some food in your teeth, dear. No, a little to the left…there, you got it.

I don’t have some sensational story to tell. I’m just your everyday sugar mama. My currently-unemployed husband is from Transylvania (who isn’t, these days?)(unemployed, I mean…), we live in the desert and we have a yard full of BMW’s and kittens. Ok, so maybe we’re a little bit sensational.

However, just like everyone else with dazzling, tabloid-worthy lives, we have a big problem. An elephant we bring into every room with us. We are SINKs and people just don’t know how to respond to that.

WebMD describes SINKs as “a rare disease that affects couples of Single Income and No Kids, curable only by the combination of dual employment and procreation”.  Ok so I made that up, but it is a 100% accurate, medical-sounding diagnosis.

So here we are, out of college, married 4.99 years, far from home (a whole continent away), very minimal drinkers/partyers with no children and now much less money. We did not follow the directions! The options are:

1) graduate, get married, have children, spend all your money on Band-Aids and tuition

2) graduate, stay single, party it up, spend all your money on tattoos and manicures

Now we’re just trying to figure out where we fit in the world and how to act like we do have children so people don’t think we’re freaks…er, I mean… we’re trying to find more people like us so we can stop thinking we really are freaks.

Help? Are we alone?